I just got out of the hospital. They tried to keep me for 72 hour observation, but I convinced the authorities that I would get some out patient counseling so I wouldn’t lose my job. I don’t even know if I really wanted to die. I just want him to stop hitting me. I’m not a fucking punching bag. I don’t know why I still love him when he treats me so bad.
My mother came to the hospital to pick me up. She thinks I’m on drugs. Would it make her feel any better if I told her the truth? He has got her so wrapped around his finger, she probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. Everytime I get beat really bad – she gets something new. Her washer and dryer came from my black eye, her refrigerator came from my tooth getting knocked out, and her 60′ plasma came from my broken arm. She thinks I am either clumsy or high out of my mind and she even told him that he should get me some help. When I tell her how unhappy I am in my relationship she thinks she is helping me by reminding me what a good man I have and how grateful I should be to have him in my life.
I feel so trapped. The last time I told him that I wanted to leave him he told me that he has been putting drugs in everything I’ve eaten since we met and that he would demand a drug test from the court and take my kids from me. I was so sore from him stomping on me. I took the pills because I was in so much pain. I drunk the vodka because I was mad. I never thought I would end up vomiting and having convulsions in my sleep. I think he was waiting to see if I was going to die. It seems like he sat there and watched me for a long time before he called 911.
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